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Lucky 13

So concludes another rotation of the Earth around Sol.  By the Gregorian calendar, at least, counting from the approximated birth date of the Christian Savior.  For many years now I have also counted my year Samhain-to-Samhain, emphasized by the fact that my birthday is only seven days after.  And most recently, I have also come to live and die by the academic calendar, which is not quite half done.  By any of those counts, though, this has not been the best year ever.  Not by a wide margin.

It’s been a trial-by-fire since the end of the last Spring semester: going back to the mall for the summer, but somehow not making enough money to actually cover my rent; an art class that consumed twice as much time and energy as it was supposed to; higher costs of education combined with a slightly smaller financial aid package—culminating in the very real possibility that I might not have been able to go back to classes in January if I had not been able to find work over the break; financial policy madness in the United States which may STILL reduce my financial aid to the point where I am unable to finish my degree; fewer friends on campus and fires all over the terrain of my social life; the paranoia and insanity associated with Chaos Magick; and, just for spice, a little bit of inheritance drama on my father’s side of the family.

Don’t get me wrong: I’ve gotten a lot done, magically, and there’s been some significant awesomeness in my personal and academic lives.  I finished off the ceremonial experiment and started Project Null, and in doing so I’ve made friends and inroads all over the cosmos.  I’ve come to new levels of understanding and communication with my lovers and our burgeoning polyamory.  I’ve solidified a few friendships, and maybe even started a couple new ones.  Despite the exhausting workload, I ended the semester with a 3.69 GPA, bringing my cumulative at the new school up to 3.44.  And yet, especially as I look a the two lists … it definitely doesn’t weigh out the way I want it to.

So fuck you 2012.  Good riddance.

With that in mind, I did a Tarot reading for the coming year.  My card for the year is the XX Aeon; as I was shuffling, I also caught glimpses of the XVI Tower and XXI the Universe.  When I did a full spread, 0 the Fool, XIII Death, XIX the Sun, and VI the Lovers were all prominent, as were the Queen of Wands and the Page of Swords.   II the Priestess and XVII the Star also made appearances.  Except for Death in my 10th House (professional recognition; clarified as 6 Swords, not III the Empress), the reading is overwhelmingly positive.

Sure, that could be the 6 of Swords as “travel” not “fleeing disaster”, but … I don’t like that shiny red reset button blinking on my career dashboard.  It makes me nervous.  I don’t graduate until 2014.  This is the year I take the GRE and start filling out grad school applications.   An ill-timed “Death” in my professional life …. well, y’all get the idea.

When I get back to the Sunrise Temple – I’m in Kansas City with Aradia for the winter break – I’ll compare this reading with the annual I did at Samhain.  This should be … interesting.


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This is My Brain on Chaos Magick

I was an arrogant, ignorant ass way back in the day.  At seventeen I was already trying to write manuals of what little I knew about magic.  I didn’t know shit, not that I could put into words, but I tried anyway.  But I was also a little precocious: the very first book was subtitled “A Path to Madness”.  Yeah.  I was also pompous … even more than I am today.  That said, however, there does seem to be a strong correlation between the practice of magic and the appearance or experience of insanity.

For myself, that correlation predates my study and practice of the occult.  Although many, even in the United States, had it much worse than I, my childhood was far from idyllic.  The living hell that most people experience in Junior High was my experience of elementary school; in retrospect, I was always a little queer, and I imagine that the other children knew before I did that I was Other than they.  As I’ve mentioned before, some years of my magical practice—age twenty-one through twenty-five, in particular—revolved around getting a grasp on my sanity more than anything else, but the more Project Null brings my early experiments back to conscious recollection, the more I wonder if the first two or three years of my practice didn’t destabilize me more than I realize.

Although I cannot help but think that there is a certain amount of self-aggrandizement in the framing of it, Chaos Magick, in particular, has a reputation for shaking the foundations of one’s sanity.  Stephen Mace, Peter Carroll, and Phill Hine all mention it[1].  The good master Jack Faust had some things to say about it, as well, which resonated with me deeply[2].

I’ve mentioned in greater and lesser detail that over the last few weeks, my paranoia and social anxiety have been off the rails.  I’ve been so out of sorts that I dedicated the Dark Moon to banishing more than anything else: performing the Stele of Jeu two days in a row, and three days in a row of my LBRP variant.  I felt fabulous … until I encountered people.  There’s a lot of astrological garbage going on right now, but a lot of it’s kinda where I live, anyway, and it doesn’t seem to be affecting everyone else as badly.  You, my readers, are clever people: you already see where this is going.

Somewhere last week, I started entertaining the idea that I might be under magical attack.  And yesterday I was almost certain that was what was going on.

Now, it fifteen years of magical practice, I’ve been attacked (not counting the whole B situation) maybe three times, tops.  Probably only twice.  But shit’s been exploding in my brain for almost a month, now.  Still, I exercised appropriate caution with that idea.  I asked ZG about it during my Dark Moon journeywork … unfortunately, her answer was unintelligible.  Yesterday, when I was about ready to unleash the hounds on whoever or whatever was coming after me … I sat down with my tarot deck, got a little gnostic with my pipe and my porto, and laid down some cards.


Hahah.  Oops.

No.  I’m not under attack.  I’m short-circuiting myself and suffering from psychic weather.  College campuses are not healthy places, psychically speaking, and my shields aren’t strong enough for my increasing sensitivity.  There may or may not be a particular person or persons who are exacerbating the problem (Immediate trigger: Princesss of Disks), but the root cause is my own magical work (Early cause: 2W)—possibly my get-laid enchantment, or even the Chaos Magick project as a whole.  Interestingly, the solution seems to be blazing forward at full tilt boogie (Conclusion: Queen of Wands) until I achieve some sort of balance (Next step, surprising experiences: VI the Lovers, XIV Art).  Sadly, the result (8D) will not be as epic as the process.  The spread, for those unfamiliar with it, is the Ankh layout from Hajo Banzhaf and Brigitte Theler’s Keywords for the Crowley Tarot[3].

So, in the spirit of charging ahead, I finished up the first of several talismanic enchantments I have in the works: turning my bi-pride triangles into a protective talisman which doubles as a giant neon-flashing sign, “Hey, I’m fucking queer,” since so many people seem to miss the point.  In the next weeks, I plan to lay some sort of sigilized enchantment on every piece of jewelry I wear on a regular basis.

I’m also escalating my meditative practice and my daily devotionals.  This morning it was suggested to me, as I performed the Rite of General Offering, that I add a small daily shrine to my seasonal altar.  That seems like a good place to start.

1 – Mace in Stealing the Fire From Heaven; Carroll in Liber Null and Psychonaut; Hine in Condensed Chaos.  Probably more people elsewhere, as well.

2 – Yeah, Jack:  I been creeping’ yer blog, cruizin’ yer archives.

3 – pp.35-6


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Disorder and a Detour Through Nostalgiaville

projectnullSomething about this experiment in Chaos Magick has gotten me thinking about the old days.  Hence the Timeline overhaul and all the post about my teenage years.  I’ll warn you now: there may be more of that coming, though on different subjects.

Aside from continuing my daily banishing, most of my work this week has consisted of the shielding experiments which sent me down memory lane, which I’ll talk about in detail tomorrow.

Friday night, I began another round of mask-making.  In accordance with the season, I was making another Death mask, which I hoped to sell for enough to reup my absinthe supply in time for Samhain.  Sadly, the clay wasn’t quite the right consistency, and shattered as it dried.  Hopefully I will have time to try again sometime this week.

I also fired a shoal of sigils Friday night.  I’m not gonna lie: this was some seriously low-brow shit.  The sort of thing that people get into fights about whether or not it’s beneath a magician’s dignity to do, and which, if approached from the wrong angle, could even be an ethical problem.  Yeah, that’s right: I’m using magic to help me get laid.  Go ahead, judge me.  That’s fair.

Divining before hand, it was almost an unqualified green light.  But … two IMG_5571potential problems came up. In the “coming in” position of the reading was XIII Death, last seen in my monthly reading in the 7th House; a more cautious person might have taken that as a sign not to cast.  Then, 7S “Futility” and I the Magus sat together in the “final outcome” position.  It seems likely that this indicates that, despite my best efforts, success in this arena will constitute a distraction from my school work.

Speaking of distractions from my school work: although the last week has been light enough for me to write this barrage of posts, things are going to get busy again after midterm.  The timeline I established for Project Null was predicated on last semester’s workload.  This semester’s load is much greater, and while I will strive to keep to that original schedule … well, school always has to come first.

Ironically, as I do an increasing amount of magical work every day, my meditation has fallen off completely.  Sadly, time spent staring at people’s auras in the cafeteria or out and about don’t count.

I have been able to remember my dreams upon waking only a few mornings, which is probably largely attributable to the sleeping teas I’ve been relying on for the last two weeks.  The fact that my dream recall has improved since I ran out of valerian tends to confirm this theory.  Most oddly, the night after charging the “get laid” sigil shoal, what do I dream about?  Why, the zombie apocalypse, of course, featuring a number of students from my school that I have never once spoken to.

I live a charmed life, mostly, but a strange one.

My plan for the coming week is to launch another shoal or two of sigils, finish reading Strategic Sorcery, and get back into Liber Null.  I’m also contemplating how to consciously interface my sigil magic with my Web of Influence for improved accuracy and timing.  So far, I’ve begun by tacking my fired sigils up with the maps that have become the visual representation of that web.  I will also continue brainstorming for what, precisely, I want the servitor I’m going to create as a part of this project to do; the general thought right now is bolster my house wards and serve as a guardian/attack dog.


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Libra Dark Moon Reading

I did a reading last month.  I didn’t even look at it a second time after laying the cards down, let alone actually try to suss out any nuance.  Pretty much the same story the month before.

This month’s reading, then, is exceptionally lacking in temporal context.  As usual, I’ve used the Twelve Houses spread with my custom addition of the central portion of the Celtic Cross to the center.


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Dark Moon Reading 25 deg. Cancer

I failed to do a reading for the last month.  I’m irritated at myself for that, of course.  At the same time I’m not sure how the cards could have prepared me for the past month’s main challenge: sheer exhaustion brought on by twelve-hour days in that psychic cesspool known as a shopping mall.

The forecast for the coming lunar month is largely positive, but there are a few points of interest both high and low.  There are also a lot of oddities.  Apparent disharmonies between the cards and their placements have driven me, at last, to consult the Book of Thoth, itself.  To my delight, I have apparently acquired a sufficient grasp of Qabalah (if not I Ching) to follow the text, if not to master it.

As is my custom, I framed my question as “Dark Moon to Dark Moon, what awaits me in the coming month?”

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Of That Which Has Been Put Off : My Full Moon Reading

Sun = 14*Gemini – Moon = 16*Sagitarius – Venus Retrograde

Aradia and I had Pasiphae and Aidan over last night for some Full Moon socializing.  The place was a little too messy for a full-on Esbat (the Battle of Mount Laundry has yet to be won), but we did spend quite a bit of time with our tarot decks.  Aidan purchased his first deck at Heartland, and Pasiphae managed to get her hands on a copy of the out-of-print Rohrig deck she had been coveting for years.  After I gave Aidan a reading, he spent the rest of the evening playing with his new deck, trying to grok the Celtic Cross and the internal logic of the cards.   Pasiphae as equally eager to break in her new toy.

I actually haven’t had anyone else do a reading for me in quite some time, so I took advantage of the opportunity.  Bought gently used, she’s still getting to know the deck and attuning it to herself.   It’s already got quite a personality: it doesn’t want to deal with piddly shit.  It told me the same as I shuffled it; it also demanded a specific question rather than a general reading.

So I asked it to talk about the direction my magical practice is taking.


The central thesis here seems to be “Good job; now get to work.”  The Moon (which was central to my monthly reading as well) and the Hanged Man tell me that there’s some important work I’ve been dodging around.

“What am I avoiding?” I ask.  “I’m hip-deep in the biggest thing I’ve ever avoided in my magical career.”  I was speaking of the planetary and ceremonial magical studies I’ve been doing, of course.  I put that shit off for fourteen-odd years.

Aradia knows me well, though.  She knows the answer.  “When was the last time you visited the Underworld?”

“I … uh … don’t know.”

And … that’s unfortunately true.  The deeper into the planetary magic I get, the more my visionary work has been left by the wayside.  I could blame that on the fact that it’s not really a part of the system I’m studying—even if it is a major component of Penczack’s High Temple, which I’ve been using as an outline for my studies—but the fact of the matter is that I’ve just run into one too many things that have scared me when I’ve visited the Underworld.

Between the unsettling demands some of my newer spirit-allies have made of me, and my seeming inability to explore new territories without incurring new alliances and their attendant obligations… Well, let’s just say that I’ve become very, very good at finding reasons not to do Down.  Smart people can be disturbingly good at lying to themselves.  And with all the Work I have been doing—planetary talismans, the Stele of Jeu, puzzling my way (oh, so slowly) through Agrippa and my newfound relationship with my Natal Genius, and even the continuation of Deb’s New Year, New You, which I have fallen so far behind on in the last month—it’s been particularly easy.

“But wait!,” you (my dear readers) ask.  “Didn’t you work your way through that already?”  Yeah, I thought that I had.  Apparently I hadn’t.  It’s that bastard Dweller at the Threshold again.

So I’m setting myself a new goal: to descend to the underworld every Sunday and/or Monday night, regardless of whether or not there’s Work I think needs to be done.  It’s time to face the Moon.

Tarot card from the Rider-Waite tarot deck, al...

Tarot card from the Rider-Waite tarot deck, also known as the Rider-Waite-Smith deck. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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Gemini Dark Moon Reading

I’ve done readings at the last two dark moons.  I’ve even analyzied them, to a point.  But I never posted about them.  So I’m taking a page from Aradia’s book and I’m going to decipher it before your very eyes.

Interestingly, this is the second time I’ve managed to do my reading on the first degree of the new sign.


When I did my annual reading at Samhain, the card I drew for for Gemini was the 5 of Cups, which I was to fix with the 10 of Pentacles (Robin Wood).  I’m not sure if the decision I’m going to regret is one I’ve already made or one I’m going to make over the course of the month.



1st – Self, Viewpoint – Princess of Disks

I am, apparently, laden with potential this month.  Elsewhere in the reading, this card would make me very nervous[1].  Here, it’s a hint of things to come, and the first hint of the amount of magic I’m going to need to do.

2nd – Finances, Income – VII Adjustment

I’m working again.  That’s a bit of an adjustment.  I’ve worked three twelve hour shifts in the last eight days.  I am nowhere near adjusted to this shit.

And, after months of living on pennies, I’m going to get a four hundred dollar check.  Two weeks from now I’ll get one for twice that.  Most of which, granted, is going to go paying my rent and utilities back in Indiana.  That’s not just going to take some Adjustment, that’s going to take discipline.  See the 6th and 10th Houses.

3rd – Daily Experiences – 8 Wands “Swiftness”

I’m going to be energetic!  Full of spunk and verve!

Who am I kidding? I’m going to be running around like a chicken with my head cut off.  Working open-to-close shifts in the mall, attending Heartland Pagan Festival, trying to catch up with all my friends in Kansas City … it’s going to be a zoo.

4th – Home-place – XV the Devil

Uh, what?

5th – Fun / Pleasure – XI Lust

So, I see there’s going to be some sex, drugs, and rock&roll in my sex, drugs, and rock&roll.  I can live with that.

6th – Work – 2 Disks “Change”

Again, the meaning here appears straightforward and clear, given my transition from full-time student to part-time goon.

I think it may also be an admonition not to sink back into the employment ruts that were forming when I left Kansas City.

7th – Partnership – 7 Wands “Valor”

Aradia was sitting next to me as I laid out this spread.  When I turned over the 7th House she said, “please don’t set me on fire.”

This is a fighting card in a place where I don’t really see that kind of difficulty.  The most optimistic interpretation here is “Stay on top of shit.  Do not let anything fester.”

8th – Taboo / Crisis– X the Heirophant

Of course I have issues with Tradition and Authority.  What’s new?

Oh, wait.  I’ve been studying at the feet of Tradition lately.  That’s only going to make things more complicated.

9th – Higher Perception– VII the Chariot

Looks like I’m going places.  The question is “where”?  Crowley’s Chariot is a lot less about Will than the Chariot in other decks and a lot more about Destiny.  Perhaps I should ask ZG about this one.

10th – Recognition– 5 Disks “Worry”

I got my mind on my money and my money on my mind.[2]

11th – Friendships – 5 Swords “Defeat”

This is worrisome.  I need to stay on top of things.

12th – Secrets & Fears – 3 Disks “Work”

Between working for money, working on my novels, and the Great Work … there is a LOT that I want to get done this summer.  I know I won’t be able to do it all.  I’m afraid I won’t manage to do any of it.

+1/6 – Current Position – 5 Cups “Disappointment”

I feel like this isn’t really the 5C in particular so much as it’s a generic swamp.  It’s my change of circumstances and Venus Retrograde.  It’s my indecision and my conflicting goals.

+2/6 Current Influences – XVII the Moon

If 5C is a morass, the Moon tells me I have to cross it in order to continue my journey.  Face the fear.  Walk the Valley of the Shadow of Death.  Descend to the Underworld.

+3/6 What Crowns It – Hexagram

And here, at last, we get to the point: whatever it is, fucking do magic about it.

+4/6 The Root of It – I the Magus

I am a magician.  I do magic.  See above.  Sometimes divination is anvilicious.

To pass from the Magus to the Hexagram, I must cross the 5 of Cups via the Moon.

+5/6 Going Out – Queen of Swords

I’ve done an awful lot of thinking, talking, writing, and intellectualizing about my magic.  That’s going to have to wane for a while in order for me to get back to really doingthe magic.

+6/6 Coming In – XX the Aeon

I’ve set myself on a path of transformation.  If I pursue it diligently over the next lunar month, I’m going to undergo some serious changes.

1 – childfree for life!

2 – Snoop Dogg.  Yeah.  I went there.

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Monthly Tarot: Pisces

Last month was so crazy that I haven’t even begun to process it.  Hopefully, this month will be a little more manageable—though this last week tells me it probably won’t be by much.  Interestingly, this lunar month began precisely as the sun moved from Aquarius into Pisces.


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Dark Moon 3/3: Tarot and Splat

I did three tarot readings over the course of the Dark Moon: one preceding each of my rituals, and one to give me an idea of what I need to look forward to over the next month.

The first reading, concerning my performance of Lon Milo DuQuette’s banishing/invocation, was reasonably clear and positive.

1/2 – Present position and current influence – 3 Disks “Works” / 2 Wands “Dominion” – Taking concrete steps, translating ideas into reality.  Crossed by willpower and a willingness to take risks.

3 – That which crowns it – Ace of Wands – New beginnings, willpower, decisiveness, opportunity for self-development.

4 – It rests upon this – 10 Disks “Wealth” – Becoming aware of one’s circumstances.  Awareness of one’s inner and outer wealth.

5 – That which is going out – 10 Swords “Ruin” –  Chaos, confusion, pain.  Mental implosions and collapse.  Who doesn’t love to see this on the outs?

6 – That which is coming in – 9 Cups “Happiness” – Meaningful experience, quiet happiness, joy that lets the heart overflow.

7 – The Querrant – VIII Adjustment – Objectivity, balance, karma, sober perception.

8 – Inner Influences – II the Priestess – Inner guidance, deep spiritual experiences.

9 – Outer Influences – VI the Lovers – The Chemical Wedding, duality and union of opposites, division and decisions.

10 – Conclusion – 6 Swords “Science” + XV the Devil – Perception, progress, openness, insight, thirst for power and encountering the Shadow.

The second reading I did concerned my performance of the Rite of Jeu.  The reading was less clear, but I chose to interpret it as a green flag nevertheless.  Looking back at the reading more closely, after the experience itself, I definitely feel like I made the right call.

1 / 2 – Current position and influences – XIX the Sun / XIV  Art – Bliss, joy, new birth, success, and self-development.  Crossed by the balance of powers, finding the right proportion, harmony, and healing.

3 – That which Crowns it – I the Magus – Activity, resolution, willpower, vital force, having the highest perceptions.

4 – It rests upon this – Knight of Swords – Discernment, flexibility, intelligence, striving toward new goals.

5 – That which is going out – 10 Swords “Ruin” – An intriguing repetition, and one which I could only view as auspicious.

6 – That which is coming in – 6 Disks “Success” – increase, favorable interplay of forces,

7 – The Querrant – III the Empress – Growth, creative potential, intuitive power, renewal, insight into the internal cycle.

8 – Inner Influences – XXI the Universe – Joy of living, being in the right place at the right time, resting in one’s center, being one in the beginning and the end.

9 – Outer Influences – 2 Disks “Change” – Change, mutual fructification, insight into the vital rhythm of growth and regression.  In a sea of big-mover cards, this one seemed a little strange.

10 – 9 Swords “Cruelty” + XX the Aeon – Worries, panic, nightmares, primitive fantasies of violence.  Transformation, new beginnings, spiritual development, being captured by the spirit of the new age.

The final reading I did over the dark moon was my usual monthly—switched to the Dark Moon for the various reasons discussed previously.  I might have done the reading at the depth of the moon, but I though I’d give the Stele of Jeu rite at least 24 hours to ripple out before looking to the future.

I had actually considered performing the rite again on Monday, but ultimately concluded that I was too exhausted to pull it off.  In fact, I didn’t actually give the monthly reading more than a cursory glance the night I laid them out.  Instead, I proceeded to promptly fall over.


1st House – Self, Viewpoint, the Mask – Queen of Swords – Wealth of ideas, presence of mind, independence, and quick-wittedness.

2nd House – Finances, Communication – IV the Emperor – Willingness to take responsibility, initiative, pragmatism.  Clear structures, consolidation, realizing plans, perfectionism.

3rd House – Daily Experiences & Immediate Influences – XIV Art – Finding the right proportions, balance of powers, harmony, overcoming differences.  Resolving conflicts, joyful and productive work,

4th House – Home-place, Family, Land & Roots – Knight of Disks – Firmness, sobriety, perseverance.  Responsible position.  Enjoying what has been achieved.

5th House – Pleasure, Hobbies, & Lovers– 4 Swords “Truce” – Sham peace, temporary retreat, calm before the storm, isolation, building up one’s strength.

6th House – Work, Illness, Duty, & Routine – Prince of Swords – Good ol’ P of S is fighting himself.  He’s working too hard.  Unlike the other knights and the other princes, his chariot is drawn by no noble steed: rather, it is drawn by miniature versions of himself.  He is at odds with himself, unable to choose a direction, unable to focus.  He is the proverbial chicken running around with his head cut off.  He needs to focus.

As I write this, I am skipping class in favor of nursing a cold.  I have been putting off homework in favor of other homework.  I’m fighting the urge to play social dominance games with one of my professors, and not quite sure that I’m keeping up on the long-term projects I should be working on.

Not good.  Need to turn this shit around.

7th House – Partnership – Queen of Wands – Healthy sense of self-assurance, initiative, impulsiveness, independence.  Equality, mature relationship, the Tantra of love, heartfelt warmth.

8th House – Taboo, Crisis, Sex, Death & Taxes – 2 Swords “Peace” – State of balance, relaxation, serenity, compromise.  I’m really not sure how to read this except as “no worries”.

9th House – Higher Perception, Journeys, & Movement – Knight of Swords – Versatility, discernment, flexibility, intelligence.  Steering toward new goals while inspired by ideas.

10th House – Recognition, Career, Ambition, & Status – 8 Wands “Swiftness” – “Ahah” experience, sudden resolution to problems.  Innovation, electrifying ideas, favorable developments, foreign business deals, advanced education, taking quick action.

11th House – Friendships, Groups, & Social Activities – 5 Disks “Worry” – Helplessness, fear of loss, frustration at nothing working out.  Having a negative influence on each-other.

12th House – Secrets, Hopes, & Fears – XIII Death – Parting, natural end.  Confronting transience.  Beginning of a fundamental change.

+2 – XXI the Universe / 0 the Fool – Completion, joy of living, being in the right place at the right time, resting in one’s center.  Crossed by original potential, creative chaos, new beginnings, starting off into the unknown.

So … that’s five Major Arcana, five court cards, and four minor arcana.  Four swords, three disks, two wands, no cups.  (Seriously?  No cups for my doulble-Scorpio ass?)

The World and the Fool at the heart of things tell me that although it may not look like there’s much going on at first, there’s some big shit afoot.  This impression is reinforced by the Death card (even if it is in the 12th House).

I feel confident that XIII, XXI, and 0 must be related to my resumed and escalated magical practice.  In particular, these are all things that are supposed to happen when you invoke the agathos daimon.  And I’m going to keep doing it: I want to die and be reborn: I want another initiatory experience.

The overwhelming presence of the court cards tells me that people are going to be very significant this month. Not terribly surprising, given the nature of academia.

The only “bad” card I see is 5D in the 11th House, though the Prince of Swords isn’t one of my favorites.  I’m a little concerned about that 5D, actually.  I’m always nervous about things going awry in my very small circle of friends: I don’t’ have any to loose.

I’m also concerned about 8 Wands in the 10th House.  That could be really good.  Or it could be “shit goes crazy”.  Not that these things are in any way mutually exclusive.  One wonders how it relates to IV in the 2nd House.  I hope this means that I’ll manage to get my hustle started up.

2 Swords in the 8th House confuses me, of course.  I don’t really have taboos.  But how can “peace” be a crisis?  Or does my more optimistic interpretation above actually float: that there4 is no crisis this month?

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Sept Full Moon Reading

It was an intense Esbat – easily the most magickal work I’ve done solo since I left Lawrence, possibly the most ever.  I should write about all that.  But my mind has been turned to the future:






1st – Self, Viewpoint

the window through which you and the world view one another


Princess of Swords

clarity & mental renewal; restlessness and quarrelsome behavior

conflict & clarification

The Princess of Swords is a fairly natural outlook for someone in school, and the quarrelsome angle totally fits me all day long.

2nd – Finances, Income

communication, neighbors, short distance travel

Prince of Wands

new momentum, initiative, and enthusiasm

readiness for action; taking risks; renewal

My financial aid doesn’t quite cover my housing, so a change in my financial situation is welcome news. It looks like I’ll need to go out on a limb to take advantage of this, but I’m prepared for that.

3rd – Daily Experiences

immediate influences

6 Disks – “Success”

increase, gain, favorable synergy, welcome developments

encourages taking advantage of situations as they present themselves

It looks like life will continue to improve over the course of the month, so long as I don’t turn down opportunities as they come my way.

4th – Home-place

family, land, roots

Queen of Swords

clr – 4 S – “Truce”


The Queen of Swords being a very odd card for the 4th House, I asked for clarification … and was given the Four of Swords. I can only take this to mean that I must be discerning in the balance I achieve between rest and work, and in the battles I pick.

5th – Fun / Pleasure

children, hobbies, lovers

VII the Chariot

thirst for adventure, boldness

new relationship, making a leap forward

I’m starting to get restless – even if I didn’t just know that, it’s there in the 1st House – and, fortunately, it looks like there’s going to be things to do and people to see (and very likely, hopefully, vice versa).

6th – Work

illness, duty, routine

3 Swords – “Sorrow”

clr – 9 C – “Happiness”

bad news, heartbreak

miscalculation, not passing an exam

bliss, meaningful experience, enjoyment of work

This clarification turned into more of a contradiction. I can only infer that, in my enjoyment of my studies and residence life, I may loose track of my priorities and fuck something up but good.

Or, maybe everything will go well except that no amount of scientific medicine or magical healing will clear up this sinus hell.

7th – Partnership

associations, spouse

6 Cups – “Pleasure”

reawakening spirits, emotional recovery, well-being

blossoming feeling; sensual pleasure; sexual fulfillment

This is interesting in the way that it agrees with the 5th House, which usually speaks more to short-term lovers, as opposed to the “marriage” ideas associated with this House.

This is doubly interesting in that I’m explicitly looking for … not “casual”, because it’s never that for me, but certainly nonexclusive.

8th – Taboo / Crisis

sex, death, taxes, loans

rebirth and renewal

3 Disks – “Works”

the process of transforming ideas to reality; slow progress and consolidation

encourages cementing that which has already been achieved

This seems to expand on the opportunities presented in the 2nd House. I need to keep my irons in the fire and work them slowly, but methodically.

9th – Higher Perception

journey, movement

IV the Emperor

willingness to take responsibility; security and leadership

structure, order, and realistic thinking

The Emperor is not a card I generally associate with anything spiritual, but it makes sense in light of the fact that I will be beginning my month of Malkuth-work in two days.

10th – Recognition

career, ambition, status

Queen of Cups

sensuality, devotion

spiritual tasks and artistic inspiration

I am going to be more recognized for my creative and magical works this moon. I should really send out some of my stories again.

11th – Friendships

groups, social activities

I the Magus

activity, resolution, will power, concentration, mastery

attraction, taking the first step, accepting oneself and others

Returning again to themes seen in the 5th and 7th Houses, this will be a busy month for my social calendar.

12th – Secrets & Fears

hopes, ambitions

V the Heirophant

search for truth, experience of meaning, expansion of consciousness

search for meaning; self-examination

The Heirophant is a card I rarely associate with anything good, but I must keep in mind that Crowley’s Heirophant of the Age of Aquarius (Horus) is not the Pope of the Age of Pisces. This, too, may refer to my experiments in ceremonial magick. Or possibly to my desire to set myself up as an occult spiritual leader here on campus.

+2 – Current Position /

Outside Influences

Prince of Cups /

5 Swords – “Defeat”


The Prince of Cups is my card, so to see him at the center here is no surprise. That lies in the 5 of Swords – a card which seems to belie the otherwise overwhelmingly positive reading. Will I be betrayed this month? Forced to eat crow repeatedly? Will this be the manifestation of the “Sorrow” seen in the 6th House?



Me / You

– 1st, 7th

Princess of Swords &

6 of Cups

I will be intellectual, cantankerous, and my usual self. They will be sensual and inexplicably drawn to me.

From Where To Where

– 4th, 10th

Queen of Swords to

Queen of Cups

While the Queen of Swords makes little sense to me on her own in the 4th House, as a part of this pair she makes perfect sense. Evolving events will help me move from the hard, more distant, cerebral, and cold parts of my personality to the more fluid, more intuitive and intimate, warm expressions.


– 1st, 5th, 9th

temperament and self-development

Prince of Swords

VII the Chariot

IV the Emperor

The Prince of Swords cannot stand up to the combined might of the Emperor and the Chariot – two of the most fiery Trumps in the deck. I’m going places, and I’m going full-tilt-boogie. Passion will overrule intellect.


– 2nd, 6th, 10th

home, money and work

Prince of Wands

3 Swords & 9 Cups

Queen of Cups

There is no earth in my Earth Trine. That never bodes well, despite otherwise auspicious indications in that direction.


– 3rd, 7th, 11th

ideas, contacts, and conversation

6 Disks – “Success”

6 Cups – “Pleasure”

I the Magus

Earth, water, and the Magus – it’s going to be a very Epicurean month, and I’m going to love it.


– 4th, 8th, 12th

intuition, yearnings, and moods

Queen of Swords

3 Disks

V the Heirophant

Although there is a Queen here, she is the Queen of Air. My Watery nature will, for this month at least, largely be dominated by the other elements.

Underlying Theme

XIX the Sun


Over all, I think things are going to do damn fucking well.

The takeaway here is opportunity: in particular, the opportunity to secure my rent money, and the opportunity to get laid.  This is welcome news.

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